Trump proves he isn’t a racist by saying that he isn’t

by philapilus

“Does this face look racist? Let me tell you, this face is not racist, this is not a racist face. I wouldn’t lie, trust me. How could I be lying – I’m white!”

Orange sociopath Donald Trump has silenced critics and proved his non-racist credentials once and for all, after explaining to reporters that whatever he says is absolutely fine as long as he tells you it is.

The White House squatter was under fire for allegedly referring to poorer countries as ‘shitholes’ during a meeting with senior republicans and democrats, but the Trump camp claims such fake news has now successfully been dispelled by “the expert and statesmanlike subsequent emission of flatulence from Donald’s mouth.”

Using his preferred medium of  verbal-farts, Trump told reporters on Sunday night “Look, whatever you think I said, or what other people heard me say, or things that I have been recorded saying, cannot possibly be true if I tell you they aren’t, OK? I am the least racist person I know, the least racist; all my friends are racist, all my appointments are racist, all the news sources that inform my views are racist, but I am not racist, I’m no racist.

“You can tell I’m not a racist because I said so, and it’s not my fault if the coons and the wetbacks and the shitskins can’t understand that, but I am telling you I am not a racist so I can’t be!  I am not racist, I am the bestest president ever and the wisest and youngest and most handsome, and cleverest too. Remember when I said I was a genius? All geniuses say that. That’s how you know. I am just great, greater than you can understand.”

A White House source who asked not to be named as Melania Trump said “The only shithole is that puckered little anus of a mouth all his bullshit ramblings tumble through.”




image from:,_Transition_2017.png



%d bloggers like this: