Shock as stupid country realises Rees-Mogg is a reactionary tw*t

by philapilus
File:Hon Jacob Rees-Mogg MP.jpg

Rees-Mogg sat very still for half an hour before being informed that photography has moved past glass plate technology

Mind-numbingly stupid Britons were overwhelmed with shock and surprise yesterday to learn that tory MP Jacob Rees-Mogg holds some reactionary views.

Rees-Mogg, who pants-wetting young tory fanboys hope to be the next leader of the Conservative party appeared on ITV’s dreadful This Morning programme and said some fuckwitted things that are the same as the other fuckwitted things he has said for absolutely ages.

Rees-Mogg was born in 1925 fully clothed in a suit and, precociously, a bowler hat, and has spent years telling anyone who will listen that the entire twentieth century was a disastrous mistake and we need to go back to the values of the 1800s.

But fans of Moggmentum expressed dismay at learning that he actually means what he says.

Wendy Nailinthehead, IQ 65, said “I thought he was just a charming thin weirdo, sort of like Mr Bean but posher. I mean, he makes the Queen sound common, and he looks like the kind of fey gentleman who dies of consumption in a BBC period drama.

“But now I hear that his views are extremely reactionary. Just like he always said. How were we meant to know that just because he says these things they are what he actually thinks?”

Rees-Mogg refused to comment, as none of the reporters who approached him had whiskers or a bow tie.

 

 

 

 

 

 

picture: https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Hon_Jacob_Rees-Mogg_MP.jpg

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