Sun “in daily trauma” after being exposed to Trump’s gaze

by philapilus
Sunset, Sun, Nature, Sky, Orange, Rays

Too scared to come out anymore

The star at the centre of the solar system has revealed that it has been “suffering constant nausea and anxiety” since Donald Trump wilfully stared at it during last week’s solar eclipse.

The mad old racist of Pennsylvania Avenue ignored safety advice about staring directly at the sun, but as he is composed of pure evil the solar rays failed to damage his retinae.

Instead his squinting little piggy eyes stared directly into the sun, and gave it a completely unwanted glimpse into his very soul.

“It was hellish” said the burning fiery ball, “I felt naked. Degraded and sullied.”

“Worse still, I could see everything he was thinking. All his nasty little plans.

“God, you’re all really fucked.”


















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