C4 Diana doc: Middle England equally desperate to watch and vent outrage at broadcast

by philapilus
File:Princess Diana Cannes.jpg

“It DISGUSTS me that other people want to know the kind of squalid details about her life that I would chew my own leg off to discover.”

The sizeable proportion of the British public that buys the Daily Express has announced that it simply cannot wait to watch Channel 4’s ‘Diana: In Her Own Words’ so that it can subsequently eviscerate the station for showing it.

Wendy Nailinthehead, who has spent the last twenty years making thousands of pictures of the late princess out of dried lentils, said “I will probably be in a state of orgasmic voyeurism throughout the programme, jilling myself off at the sordid details of the breakdown of her marriage.

“But once it’s finished I will then spend the next three days writing angry messages on every messageboard I can find, expressing my apoplectic fury at both Channel 4 and the British public for stirring up the past and invading the sanctity of her privacy.

“It’s quite possible that the massive hypocrisy and contradiction will give me a brain aneurysm, but to be honest I can’t think of any way I’d rather go.

“I will have died doing what I loved most; pretending with terminal intensity that I had a meaningful connection with a person I never in fact met.”

Professor Hamish McEyebrau of the Slough Roundabout school of Diana Studies said “The typical Diana fan is caught between the twin ambitions of wishing loudly to defend the privacy and saintliness of a rich aristo, whilst also trying to purchase her stained underwear through eBay.

“That might seem completely batshit mental. But then you have to remember that these are people who read the Express.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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