Farron: “I’ll offer real alternative or more of the same – whichever you prefer”

by philapilus
File:Tim Farron 02, July 2016.jpg

“Really? That’s what I think too!”

Tim Farron has continued to lay out a strong Liberal Democrat election platform today, offering to be as different or as similar to other parties as people want.

“Only we have a real message of a different Britain – or alternatively, the same Britain if you’d rather” pledged Farron.

“I’m offering real policies and principles. For instance, I oppose gay sex on ‘Christian’ grounds but am also totally fine with it and definitely don’t think it’s a sin, although that depends on whether you want me to.

“I am passionately opposed to leaving Europe, but if you prefer I can be as eurosceptic as the rest of them.

“Basically you let me know what you want me to say, and I’ll say it, OK?

“Vote Liberal Democrat!”

Unemployed political commentator Tim Twanks commented “This is a classic Lib Dem agenda. Like when they said no tuition fees then brought them in, or when Paddy Ashdown promised to eat his hat after they crashed and burned in the last election, and then didn’t.

“In a way, they are the most trustworthy party. Whatever they say you have a cast iron guarantee that they will do completely the opposite if it gives them a hint of a vote or some power.

“That’s consistency you can trust and bank on, which is rare these days.”

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