US armada lost at sea

by philapilus
File:Fleet 5 nations.jpg

“F*ck knows where they’re going, but they do look cool when they’re in formation don’t they?”

The US Navy has confirmed that the Carl Vinson strike group “could be pretty much anywhere”.

A spokesperson said “Look, when we said we were sending warships to North Korea we were expressing a sort of passing notion, not actual military tactics.

“It was more of a vague hope kind of thing. Now that we think the fleet went in completely the opposite direction it is very clear to us that our strategy must not have been to go to North Korea at all, despite what we said earlier.

“I know it looks bad, but it’s very hard to respond to orders which are made via twitter by a commander in chief with all the rationale and leadership qualities of a bulging condom full of orange shit.

“We’re almost certain the Carl Vinson strikeforce will check in again at some point. Assuming they’re still out there. Trump made all the boats throw out their charts because Ivanka said they were bad for Feng Shui.

“Look don’t ask me, at this point we’re just amazed the nuclear bombs haven’t started launching. He’s already ordered thermonuclear strikes four times, but Mike Pence talked him out of it because blowing up Congress might look bad.”

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