April 21, 2017
by philapilus
“The only thing that makes me happy is sitting outside food banks and laughing at the poor”
A BBC news clip of a Bristolian woman launching into a bigoted tirade has gone viral today, with hundreds of thousands of repostings on social media.
Around 2 million people are thought to have watched ‘Brenda from Bristol’ demand that “Mrs May take back Britain from the coloureds and their ilk, and go back to hanging those evil bastards who do graffiti and littering and loitering”.
Brenda also called for extremely high taxation for anyone
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April 19, 2017
by philapilus
“F*ck knows where they’re going, but they do look cool when they’re in formation don’t they?”
The US Navy has confirmed that the Carl Vinson strike group “could be pretty much anywhere”.
A spokesperson said “Look, when we said we were sending warships to North Korea we were expressing a sort of passing notion, not actual military tactics.
“It was more of a vague
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Posted in Society, USA, War |
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April 19, 2017
by philapilus
Unlike Labour, I’m going to MEAN to do it when I ruin everything for everyone
As you will all have heard by now, I have called a snap election for next month.
I know you all thought I’d been saying for weeks there was no way I would do it, despite my slim majority, because it would cause national uncertainty. But you’re misremembering. Stop it.
The plain fact is that
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April 19, 2017
by philapilus
About twenty per cent less up for this than he looks
Hi everyone, Jeremy here, with some advice for the very exciting upcoming general election – a snap election which is bound to cement my position as Labour leader!
My message is simple and sincere, and it’s this: you won’t necessarily be wasting your vote if you vote for Labour (although I should point out that
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April 6, 2017
by philapilus
Philip Hammond will be joining Mrs May for the live performances. It won’t look like this.
Theresa May says she is fulfilling her long-standing ambition to break into the dance charts, after this morning’s surprise release of a version of 2 Unlimited’s ‘No Limits’.
Mrs May’s spokesperson, Percy Spoke, said “It was a brilliant bit of showpersonship actually. The PM was speaking to party activists in Nottinghamshire and she told them there are no ‘no go’ areas for the tories in coming local elections.
“She fixed them with a stare and repeated ‘no no-go’. Then she said ‘No no. No no no no. No no no no…’ and as she spoke the music faded up, and she suddenly ripped off
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Posted in Music, Satire, Showbusiness, Society, UK |
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