Brexit letter lost in post

by philapilus

On signing the letter Mrs May said “It’s all downhill from here! No, that doesn’t sound right, I mean; it’s all uphill from here! Er…hang on…is it just me or is there no way to make this sound good?”

The government has confirmed that the letter Theresa May wrote to Donald Tusk – invoking article 50 and triggering Brexit – has been lost in the post.

A number 10 spokesperson, Percy Spoke, said “Mrs May wrote the historic letter, historically signed it, and in a true history-making moment, historically put it in the letterbox.

“She wanted to make the posting of the letter a statement about this historic reclaiming of our Britishness, so she chose the good old Royal Mail to deliver it. You can’t get more British than that. None of your rubbish foreign companies.

“Unfortunately however, it seems that Royal Mail have misplaced the letter. We rang to complain, but the queue of people ringing to report lost mail was 470,000 callers long. That can’t be usual, can it? I mean, they’re British…”

Theresa May is said to be writing another letter, although unfortunately it is proving difficult, as nobody thought to keep a copy of the original draft, so it is having to be written again from scratch.

Donald Tusk, the European Council president, said “Expect a lot more of this kind of thing. Good luck for the future, you idiots.”

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