White House ‘intruder’ returned to place in Oval Office

by philapilus

President Bannon was in residence but agents say he was perfectly safe throughout

A mentally unstable man who climbed over the perimeter fence of the White House was stopped by agents and then taken back inside, the US Secret Service has said.

The septuagenarian, who agents said was babbling “Like the unholy offspring of a Nazi and an orangutang” was discovered with a backpack and a huge tub of wig-weave gel, wandering the grounds and screaming at his shoes.

Secret Service spokesperson Ann Onymous said “The tubby, strange man was apprehended and wrestled to the floor after he was spotted climbing over the fence and intruding into Pennsylvania Avenue. He was earlier picked up on CCTV scrawling obscenities about Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton on the wall of the West Wing.

“As soon as he was identified – due to his uniquely miniature hands – he was taken back inside, replaced in his cage in the Oval Office, and the key was returned to Steven Bannon.”

White House press pawn Sean Spicer refused to comment directly on the matter.He did announce however that the wiretap on Donald Trump supposedly ordered by former President Obama had been definitively proved by evidence extracted from the ghost of Fred Phelps via a ouija board.

“There is no more credible source.” Spicer said.


%d bloggers like this: