Trump refuses to accept Connect Four outcome

by philapilus

Witnesses said Trump failed to connect even two

Donald Trump has once again lambasted ‘fake news’ outlets today over reports which suggested he had lost a game of Connect Four to chief strategist Steve Bannon.

Trump tweeted “More FAKE NEWS! I NEVER lose Connect 4! Ignore FAILING NYT & CNN” after journalists from the organisations reported on a friendly match in which Bannon trounced the president.

Trump’s ire was even further stoked after the BBC showed footage of Bannon slotting in a winning yellow, and the president pushing his stumpy little fingers into the blue grid to stop Bannon’s disc falling into place, before throwing the game to the floor.

The clip then shows the orange psychopath hammering his fists on the floor and shouting “It never connected! It never connected! I didn’t lose if it never connected!” over and over.

The embattled Sean Spicer gave a statement to a specially selected group of white male reporters today, from behind the barricades he has erected in the briefing room.

Throwing scrabble tiles over the upturned tables, Spicer laboriously spelled out ‘Trump won the game. It may have looked like Trump was red, but he was actually yellow, and Bannon was simply administering the coup de grace to himself’.

Spicer lobbed the remainder of the tile sack at journalists and ran from the room crying.

Since the press conference Trump has tweeted 73 times about how good he is at Connect Four, and has posted several photos of completed Connect Four grids as proof.

When Critics pointed out that these appear to be stock images from the internet, Trump responded “Wrong! Wrong” Sad how wrong u r. But not playing Cnnct 4 anymore anyway – not fair on everyone else to have to keep losing.”

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