Theresa May visits Lords with baseball bat

by philapilus

Theresa ‘Negan’ May

Theresa May made the highly unusual move of sitting in the House of Lords yesterday to observe the debate over the Brexit bill.

According to one Lord, “The prime minister entered the room, cracked her knuckles and then ostentatiously unwrapped a long silk package containing a baseball bat.

“As the debate started she began to whistle Rule Britannia quite loudly, whilst winding a length of barbed wire around the bat, and looking meaningfully around the room.


Footage from the BBC Parliament channel showed that every time anyone stood up to say anything against Brexit, Mrs May would also stand up and begin to twirl the bat around nonchalantly, before making a few trial swings through the air.

She would then turn to the inevitably faltering speaker and ask “Sorry, were you saying something? Don’t mind me, will you. Do go on.”

A spokesperson for Number 10 said “Theresa was just passing through, and thought she would listen for a bit, that’s all.

“No one is being threatened, no one is being coerced into toeing the government’s line. I am sure the House of Lords will come to the right decision through democratic consideration of what’s best for the country, for their own children and – just by way of example – their own kneecaps.”











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