2016 in headlines

by philapilus
carrie_fisher_2013

RIP to the only royalty who was ever worth a damn

Once again we look back over the last year through the major news headlines from around the globe. It’s our way of reminding you of the main events, movers and shakers of 2016, and definitely isn’t just  an easy way of tossing off a quick article whilst we’re on the toilet.

Brexit voters “will be first ones saved in the Rapture”

Russian athletes all secretly robots

Nearly everyone dead

“What are my pounds sterling worth” voted best joke of 2016

No seriously, nearly everyone is dead

Zombie apocalypse leads to Trump win

Nigel Farage retires to lovely French villa

Guardian newspaper beats itself into submission in grudge match

Ronda Rousey loses fight to Hillary Clinton

Hillary Clinton loses fight to rabid skunk

Rabid skunk gets world’s top job

EU nonplussed as UK commits seppuku

More people dead

“No fucking way” Bing Crosby refuses Bowie duet in afterlife

Cameron performs best ever rug-pull trick

Boris Johnson and Michael Gove break off engagement

“Corbyn refuses train seats because of bad haemorrhoids” admits aide

World celebrating Trump victory

Russia secretly running everything (except Marvel Comics)

Republicans distribute fiery cross ‘gifts’ to black neighbourhoods

New Rowling ‘non-Harry Potter’ film exactly like Harry Potter films

Obama’s drunken slip: “You’re all fucking insane and you deserve what you get”

Mexico to pay for wall using money Trump owes to Mexican contractors

‘Jesus Christ, Carrie Fisher now?!’

Fuck you 2016, says everyone who isn’t dead

 

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