Bake Off finale returns UK to misery of normal existence

by philapilus

Like Tantalus this was dangled before you, only to recede as you reached out for it.

As the last ever BBC series of the Great British Bake Off finished with triumph for Candice, the country was returned to the unadulterated horror that is our daily existence.

Superfan Wendy Nailinthehead said “For a few brief moments each Wednesday evening, I managed to escape the monotony of life in this drab, grey country of tory overlords and Brexit-voting simpletons.

“I just thought about cake, looked at cake, sometimes even had some cake. And somehow, with cake-tinted spectacles, the world seemed a little better, a little brighter. Now it’s gone.”

Viewer Tim Twanks said “In my office we spend the whole week talking about Bake Off. It’s an endless source of conversation and pleasure, bringing us together and healing the rift between Marketing and Sales. Relishing what happened last time, imagining what will happen next time… now it’s over.

“I came in this morning and there’s a sullen misery in the air. No one is talking about baking. Suddenly I have remembered that I do a shit job which I hate for too little money to live comfortably, and with nothing on TV to look forward to except Britain’s Got Talent.

“The world is not full of amazing delicacies, it is a hard, pitiless plane of torture, and the bounty of wonderful baking was only a mirage that has faded into the dessert desert.

“I have a Mr Kipling apple pie in my lunchbox. It is absolutely disgusting.”

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