Kinnock: Corbyn worst disaster for Labour since me

by philapilus
348px-kinnock_neil

‘What an obnoxious arse Corbyn is – just like me’

Neil Kinnock has warned that if the Labour party re-elects Jeremy Corbyn as leader it will face its biggest crisis since he threw away the 1992 general election.

Speaking to BBC’s Panorama, Lord Kinnock said “Corbyn is not someone who can win a general election, and he will be a disaster for this party.

“And speaking as someone who failed to win a general election and was a disaster for this party, I know what I am talking about.”

Kinnock is favourably remembered as the idiot who, with a huge lead in the polls, stood at a conference podium and screamed ‘WE’RE ALL RIGHT!’ over and over until the nation collectively vomited all over their own laps.

Unemployed political commentator Tim Twanks commented “By helming Labour into the maelstrom of failure, Lord Kinnock also laid the groundwork for Tony Blair to make the party completely change direction and pursue tory policies with the fervour of a spotty bunch of teenaged Hooray Henries jizzing their pants at a Conservative party  conference. Properly fucking old Labour once and for all.”

But Kinnock said “It takes someone quite special to fall into the sea during an orchestrated photo op on a sodding beach – where literally the only, only thing you have to do is avoid the water. Corbyn will have to work very hard indeed to be as shite as that. Trust me, I know.”

The annoying, slap-headed ginger Welsh twat went back to polishing his pate and fawning at the feet of the monarchy, proving that he has his finger on the pulse of what Labour voters really want.

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