Trump to rid US of people within 1 hour

by philapilus

“And you’re going, and you, and you, and you, and you there next to her, and you, and definitely you with the dark face, and you, and…”

Republican candidate Donald Trump has vowed to empty the United States of its entire population within his first sixty minutes as president if he is elected.

The strange-haired, rotund demagogue had earlier in the week visited Mexico, where strangely he failed to do his normal shouty anti-Mexican thing.

Hours later however he was in Arizona thrilling crowds with a speech about his much-publicised border wall with Mexico, and promising to deport 2 million criminal aliens immediately.

Trump continued “I know immigrants, I know all about immigrants, Trump knows everything about them. We’re going to deport two million in that first hour folks, and then two million in the next hour, and we’re going to keep going until all the immigrants are gone, and there is no one left but us ordinary decent hardworking real Americans.”

At a press conference later a reporter asked Trump how he felt about the fact that all Americans were originally immigrants, to which the presidential candidate howled in fury, before vowing “I’ll get rid of you all then! I’ll throw you all out! What’s more, I’ll do it all in one hour!”

As he left the conference Trump was overheard saying to an aide “So when I’m elected president, will there be any way I can just get rid of everyone instantly? Is there some special button I can press that will just clear everyone off the face of the land?

“No, I haven’t heard of that before; whatdoes nuculurar mean?”

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