Jeremy Corbyn bulldozes own home to make point

by philapilus

“I’m thinking of cutting my nose off to teach my face a lesson. What do you think?”

Jeremy Corbyn has drawn attention to homelessness this morning, by driving a bulldozer straight through his own house.

The move followed his publicity coup in raising awareness of seat-shortage on trains, after he was filmed earlier in the week sitting on the floor of a partially empty train near some free seats.

Standing amidst the ruin and rubble of his former house, the Labour leader said “Like so many others in Tory Britain, I am homeless.

“All my possessions – everything from my book of how to cook gruel through to my signed photograph of Torvill and Dean  – are lying out in the rain. Or would be if it was raining.

“Hang on, pass me that sprinkler… There. Homeless and with everything I own drenched to destruction.

“I, like so many of you, have now got a soggy socialist library, thanks to the privations this country has suffered under Cameron and May.”

An aide invited reporters to return tomorrow morning, when Jeremy plans to poke both his eyes out to draw attention to the unheeded plight of the blind under a Conservative NHS.”

 

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