Cameron visits palace for official resignation

by philapilus

“Doo doodoo …that’s what you’re all in now!”

David Cameron will go to Buckingham Palace this afternoon to accept the Queen’s official resignation, before travelling back to Westminster where he will crown Theresa May.

May, who has become Prime Minister despite not having been voted in by her party, let alone won a majority in a general election, announced she will also take the title of Queen at David Cameron’s last cabinet meeting.

A source close to the new PM said “Theresa stood up, pushed Dave out of his chair, and said ‘Right you fuckers, it’s May-time!’

“She then clarified ‘obviously it’s not actually May, it’s July. But it’s my time. Now which of you miserable bastards is going to go to the palace and get me my fucking crown?’

“After an excruciating silence,  Dave finally offered to, as he was popping up there this afternoon anyway.”

Theresa May will take the title of Queen from Elizabeth II, who has said she is delighted not to be passing it on to Charles, and will spend the rest of her days driving round England’s country roads in a sports coupe with Mr Cameron.

Soon-to-be Queen Theresa, meanwhile, has promised a reign which will “make Margaret Thatcher seem like a fucking saint.”

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