“Now it’s just getting sad” say Tories

by philapilus
File:Loser sign croped.jpg

L is for Labour

The Conservative party said today that Labour was now so impotent that beating them wasn’t even fun anymore.

George Osborne said “We’ve done everything we can to lure them back into the fray. Cameron resigned, Gove stabbed Boris in the back, the Theresa May killbot has been unleashed, and today, just for shits and giggles I finally admitted that I won’t reach my budget surplus target.

“But would they come out and fight? Not on your life. They’re still sitting in the corner beating themselves around the head.”

The Labour party has failed to act as the official opposition for the whole of the last week, and has responded to all requests for comment with a loud wail of anguish whilst  screwing its eyes tightly shut and sticking its fingers in its ears.

Mr Osborne said “What use is it us destroying our own party and the country if the opposition aren’t even going to play? Fuck this, we’re bored, and I think we need to find a new game.

“I hear the England football squad are shit; maybe the Tory front bench could take over?”



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