UK doesn’t remember Turkey

by philapilus

Drawing a blank

The United Kingdom said this morning that it can’t quite remember Turkey, asking whether it was perhaps in South America.

After news broke that a city in Turkey had suffered a huge terrorist attack, with scores of people dead, Britain collectively mouthed the country’s name, whilst shaking its head in puzzlement.

Man on the street Geoff Shovel said “Turkey…Turk-ey…? Nope, nope not really ringing any bells. Are you sure it’s a country?”

Leave campaigner Boris Johnson, taking a moment out from his attempt to blow up the British economy, said “I’m pretty well-travelled, but I’ve not heard of it. Why, is something happening there?”

Journalist Samantha Furcup said she had been astonished to hear that the country had been in the papers a lot before the referendum, adding “Well, if you say so, but I can’t remember us writing much about it. Were we saying good things, or bad things?”

Turkish immigrant Ahmed Candanir said “I had this weird dream, where you all kept yelling about my people coming over and taking your jobs, whilst committing crimes and simultaneously living off benefits. It was one of the main things your news organisations focused on.

“But this morning I happened to notice that there was almost nothing said about an enormous suicide attack on my home city, so I guess we don’t feature in your news after all.

“Excuse me, I have to go and scrub racial abuse off the front of my garage.”

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