Cameron quits to be first in job queue

by philapilus

“I don’t suppose you have any positions open? I am looking for something as far away from Britain as possible.”

David Cameron has resigned today as Prime Minister of the United Kingdom, in order to be first in the job queue.

Following Britain’s historic and courageous decision to cut itself off from Europe and drown in the North Sea, Mr Cameron said “I just want to say that although this referendum malarkey has clearly been a huge mistake in hindsight, I am confident and optimistic that if I get to the job centre quickly, I should be able to get my CV in before the rest of you.

“Look, it’s really not that bad. I mean, I’ve done what no other Prime Minister before me has done; given the British people the right to take power back into their own hands and use it to fly the rocket off the rails and set sail for the heart of the sun. Where they can merrily get their faces melted off.

“It’ll sound better when I’ve refined it a bit for the old covering letter.


Cameron stood proud and tall, straightened his tie, and then legged it down the road as fast as his little legs could carry him.

Boris Johnson, Prime Minister-in-waiting, said “This is truly a wonderful day. The sun is out, we’re free of the EU bureaucrats who have given us meddlesome laws on employment protection and environmental action.

“Now, come join the tea party Nigel Farage and I will be having, where it is everyone’s unbirthday and we’ll be changing seats all afternoon long! Hurrah!”

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