Farage: have I got time for one more racist poster?

by philapilus
zombies

calm and measured message

Nigel Farage has asked today whether he has enough time to unveil just one more fascist poster before tomorrow’s referendum.

Holding a press conference in his local pub, the Negro’s Head, Farage said “I’m not racist, and UKIP isn’t racist, but i do just need to unveil one more poster which might look a bit racist. It’s just that I got them all printed up as a job lot, and it would be a terrible waste of money to scrap this last one.

“I’m definitely not a racist. How

could i be a racist when I have the world’s biggest collection of golliwogs and Little Black Sambo books? I keep them in the attic, and sometimes i go up there and bang my head against the rafters till the caterpillar in my brain shuts up.

“See? Not racist.”

The UKIP leader had initially been warned by the Leave camp not to release the ‘very racist poster’ because of the backlash it might unleash after the tragic death of Jo Cox.

But the Leave campaign softened its stance after having a long hard look at its membership.

Leave campaign manager Michael Gove said “We want to dissociate ourselves from the racist maniac who hacked down Jo Cox whilst yelling ‘Britain First’. We want to, but we can’t, or we’d be alienating more than half our supporters.

“So I guess Nigel Farage might as well stick the racist poster up really. Not that he is a racist. And nor are the rest of us, obviously. That goes without saying.”

Non-maniac Samantha Furcup said “If you have to actually say ‘I’m not a racist but…’ then chances are you’re probably a racist.”

 

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