Elton John and Putin’s duet postponed

by philapilus

Common ground: Sir Elton also worked for the KGB in the 1980s

The much-anticipated duet between Elton John and Vladimir Putin will have to be put on hold, Russian officials said today.

The portly popstar and the Russian president were due to record a version of ‘Don’t go breaking my heart’ during Sir Elton’s visit to Russia next month, but “have had to postpone due to scheduling conflicts.”

The song – which Sir Elton originally recorded with Kiki Dee in 1976 – was going to be released by both men as “a joint statement on the differing opinions of non-traditional sexual orientations in Russia”.

David Furnish, the singer’s partner, said “Elty had rewritten a whole verse, so that he and Putin could both voice their somewhat contradictory feelings.

“They would sing ‘Ooo-ooh, everyone knows it’, then Elty would sing ‘Hey man I’m gay’ to which Putin would respond ‘I’ll lock you away’ before they join together again in a rousing, final chorus: ‘Don’t go breaking my… don’t go breaking my… DON’T GO BREAKING MY HEART!'”

Furnish wiped away a tear and said “It would have been so lovely.”

But Ivan Neverhaditoff, aide to Mr Putin, said “Vladimir not singing with ladyboy. He is manly man, not like these gaybos. He very butch, ride topless on horse like macho cowboy.

“Mr Putin not like gayman Elton or tranvestite Kiki Dee.”

Sir Elton will instead record ‘Hold me closer, Justin Trudeau’ with the Canadian president, while Putin will record a thrash metal version of Prokofiev’s Peter and the Wolf with fat American prick Steven Seagal.

 

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