Trump creates robot butler to draw away flak

by philapilus

Similarly C3PO successfully masked the fact that George Lucas offered a bounty for the decapitated head of Bill Clinton

It was revealed today that disturbed Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump has created an insane android butler, in an attempt to distract voters from noticing how batshit-mental he is himself.

The butlerbot, named Anthony Senecal, has already begun performing its function, calling for President Obama to be killed and strung up outside the White House, for all newborn Asian-Americans to be strapped to rockets and  fired into the heart of the sun, and for frogs to be given driving licenses.

A source close to Trump said “Anthony Senecal, eh? What a whack-job! Not like sane Mr Trump at all!

Pardon? You want to know how Donald intends to fulfil his implausible election promises? Well, I could answer that, but first wouldn’t you rather know what Mr Senecal said about jam and prostitutes?”

The robot butler idea came to Trump’s campaign manager after watching Robert the Robot in hit Cbeebies show ‘Justin’s House’, where Robert’s antics successfully distract small children from ever realising that Justin Fletcher is actually Mr Tumble.

Senecal will perform exactly the same function with American republicans, ie distracting immature simple minds from the realisation that the man before them is actually a pratfalling clown.

But sceptics question whether even the butlerbot’s most deranged antics will be enough to cover completely Trump’s gaffs.

Political analyst Samantha Furcup said “It’s all very well getting a robot to call for the assassination of the President of the United States. But Donald has said we should burn witches, feed children with nails and ground glass, and put knitting needles under our toenails. He followed this up with a shout of ‘Hurrah for the Klan’.

“And that was all in the last ten minutes.

“Utter. Moron.”



%d bloggers like this: