Harry Styles holds aloft scalp of vanquished foe

by philapilus
Harry_Styles_November_2014

yes, but who did he kill?

One Direction band member Harry Styles has posted a photo showing him holding a bundle of hair, attached to which is a blood-dripping human scalp.

The singer’s post has been greeted with a wave of frenzied speculation as, enigmatically, Styles did not indicate from whom the gory keepsake had been taken.

Uberfan Wendy Nailinthehead said “At first we thought Harry might have shorn his own lovely locks and got a bit carried away, slicing off his skin along with the dreamy waves of hair.

“But looking at the splatter-marks over his forearm it seems clear the spray originated from someone else’s head. Whose though?!”

As yet the singer’s legions of fans can only speculate, but if he has indeed severed flesh from the skull of a defeated foe, he won’t be the first celebrity to have done it.

Jessica Tandy had a dress made of human scalps that she wore to all her premieres, and Rick Moranis famously scalped at least one waiter during the course of every single lunch or dinner he ate out in Hollywood.

Crucially though, Harry will be the first to have teasingly withheld a scalpee’s identity over social media.

Styles’ manager Randy Fukwizc said “Harry is not available for comment, but all I will say is that if he has seen fit to hack a fleshy trophy from one of the many victims of his murderous sadistic sex-sessions then I – hang on, can I start that again? What? This is live? Oh shit…”

 

Advertisements
%d bloggers like this: