Iceland PM demoted to shelf-stacking over Panama Papers allegations

by philapilus

They’ll probably pin the takeover of equally dreadful proletariat foodshop Bejams on him too

The Prime Minister of Iceland Sigmundur Gunnlaugsson has resigned after accusations of concealing millions of dollars worth of assets, and has been returned to the shop floor.

A spokesman for Iceland – a store known for its budget frozen foods and cheap and cheerful Christmas ads starring Jason Donovan – said “We haven’t had a crisis like this since Kerry Katona got caught with the magic fairy dust.

“Sigmundur hasn’t just let himself down; he’s let down all the mums who come here too.”

It is understood that the former PM is going to be shelf-stacking, working on the tills, and will be handed the mop and bucket the moment any small children have made a mess.

Mr Gunnlaugsson is the first casualty of the Panama Papers – documents leaked from Panamanian law firm Mossack Fonseca revealing widespread tax avoidance and money laundering amongst the rich and powerful.

Tim Twanks, an expert in Nordic politics and a frequent buyer of frozen foods, said “Who’d have thought it? The rich and powerful staying rich and powerful by means that aren’t as wholly pure as the driven ice crystallizing on the outside of a packet of budget value frozen peas?

“It’s enough to make me vomit. Bleeeuuuurgh.”

This was immediately followed by an announcement over the Tannoy, instructing Sigmundur to clean-up on aisle 3.

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TMB has been instructed by HM government to explain to all our readers that David Cameron does not shop – and never has shopped – at Iceland, and any accusations that he or his dad ever has will not be tolerated.

 

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