Nike drop Sharapova for wrong kind of ethical breach

by philapilus
File:Logo nike principal.jpg

Hypocrisy: tick

Sports giant Nike have announced they are suspending sponsorship of Maria Sharapova after she failed a drug test, because “as ethical breaches go this is not a lucrative one”.

Spokesperson Percy Spoke explained “As far as we are concerned, Maria has committed an abominable act that does not help our bottom line.

“We are proud of our unblemished and morally sound business record, and are definitely not interested in any sort of business relationship that could damage the reputation of our brand through an ethical breach.

“Unless it is an ethical breach which involves us making a huge amount of money. Then it’s ok.”

Nike reiterated its guidelines to brand loyalists, reminding fans and customers that on the scale of corporate evil, colluding in the exploitation of 3rd world labour was nowhere near as diabolical as  associating with someone who had – potentially unwittingly – imbibed a newly-banned substance.

Tennis fan Samantha Furcup said “Sharapova fucked up, and I’m disappointed in her. But thank goodness Nike are such a morally unambiguous, ethically sound company.

“I shall make sure I continue to buy their overpriced tat which isn’t made by children in factories without fire escapes or windows.”


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