Top Gear presenters revealed!

by philapilus

Brrrrm brrrrrm goes fast; make all little boys excited

The full line-up of Top Gear presenters has finally been revealed, and TMB brings you the lowdown on all of them:

John Maynard Keynes: Keynes is a huge fan of governmental intervention within the economy, steerage of which can be best achieved through public expenditure or fiscal policies. He will be mostly based in the studio.

Milton Friedman: by contrast Milton Friedman is the main advocate of monetarism, and preferred deregulation and adherence to the quantitative theory of the money supply. As such he is the chalk to Keynes’ cheese; expect lots of joshing between these two, and perhaps the occasional car-based duel.

Thomas Piketty: dashing Frenchman Piketty is ardently opposed to the increasing inequality of wealth, which he believes is an inevitable outcome of unregulated capitalism – as capital historically appreciates faster than economic growth. Piketty will cover continental models, and is a huge fan of Nissans.

Friedrich Hayek: Hayek is convinced that the failures of the market historically are not down to inherent problems with the free market per se, but derive instead from the fact that money itself is not subject to market forces and is artificially administered by a central bank. He is passionately in favour of the sanctity of the price mechanism, and will do much of the off-road test-driving. He will be the new Stig.

Chandler Bing: having recovered from the throes of a gritty opiod addiction several years back, Bing (who plays Matthew Perry in hit sitcom ‘Friends’ ), has reinflated to the size of a small elephant. He will be driving Humvees, trucks, and the occasional tank. Basically anything that you don’t have to squeeze into.

Jeremy Clarkson: the BBC were unable to remove Clarkson from the studio where Top Gear is recorded, because his massive ugly head wouldn’t fit through the door, and so he will continue to appear in the show, but as a disgruntled member of the audience who will heckle the other presenters throughout. And occasionally punch staff.

 

 

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