2015 in Headlines

by philapilus

Lenin was amongst the famous people who died in 2015, along with such other political luminaries as Michael Ball, Michael Bolton, Michael Buble and Michael Bay. Astoundingly, Keith Richards survived yet another year

In our annual January attempt to avoid anything as strenuous as finding new news, TMB presents some of the more notable stories appearing in UK newspapers from last year:

Forensic science claims Jesus was spitting image of Brian Blessed

Ed Miliband ‘froze to death’ in park drinking meths on Christmas day

“I just want to kill the Jews” Trump reveals motivation

One Direction revealed as Cold War sleeper cell

Daily Mail still cheering on blackshirts

Gordon Ramsay’s face used as urinal soap

Immigrants welcomed with open arms by xenophile Middle England

George Lucas: “I was unable to get into my house because of all the money”

“Carrots are secret listening devices” claims Farage

David Cameron denies herd of pigs invited to spend Christmas in garden at Downing street

Kettle Chips taste horrible if you boil them in a kettle, confirms DEFRA

Ebola virus still better than Coldplay

Wanking on the rise

Principles not worth it, agrees everybody

Vegetarianism “economically and ecologically sound, but still turns you into an asshole”

Scientists say science should get more money than arts

Artists say scientists should buy more art with all their money

Modernising Pope apologises for 13th century repression of Cathars

Osborne unleashes hounds after discovering small part of welfare state still functioning

Shaven-headed Boris Johnson loses his powers

 

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