Daily Mail launches appeal to fix teeth of Lee Rigby killer

by philapilus

The Britain First campaign is asking the public to imagine Lee Rigby as “a little Christmas elf, who would want us all to join together in the spirit of charity”

The Daily Mail newspaper has announced a charitable appeal in order to raise funds for Michael Adebolago’s dental work.

The newspaper learned that the killer of Lee Rigby had lost two front teeth whilst being restrained by prison officers, and immediately decided to help.

Mail spokesperson, Mike Ock, said “Our paper is not just about cutting-edge journalism, we’re also about compassion. Lots of compassion. When we heard Mr Adebolago was in the unfortunate position of having to sue the Crown over much-needed dental work, we felt we had to help out.

“We know a lot of people will get very angry and emotional over this issue, but we want to remind everyone that, despite his heinous crime, Mr Adebolago is a person too. A person with feelings who probably has been suffering from really low self-esteem since losing his gnashers. Like everyone else he deserves our support.”

The Mail’s campaign, titled ‘All he wants for Christmas is his two front teeth’ is expected to garner much more cash than is actually needed, and the paper has pledged that the surplus will be used to fund dental work for other criminals, and to provide reflexology and massage treatment to “anyone suffering the stresses of a life sentence for murder”.

The Guardian however let loose a howl of fury at the campaign, with columnist Polly Toynbee raging against the “gumption of this TERRORIST soulless evil KILLER who now wants PUBLIC MONEY to make his teeth pretty!

“What’s next??” Toynbee hissed, “EXTRA BLANKETS for Rolf Harris, brought to him by a nubile child??! IT’S POLITICAL CORRECTNESS GONE MAD!!!!!!!!!!”

 

 

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