BBC: Major makes petition to axe Tyson Fury from SPOTY shortlist unnecessary

by philapilus

He can snap a man’s hand off with those powerful fingers

The BBC has said today that there is no need for anyone to get worked up about Tyson Fury’s nomination for Sports Personality of the Year as “he doesn’t stand a chance against top candidate John Major anyway”.

The response came after 55,000 people signed a petition to take Fury out of the running, due to comments that many considered sexist and homophobic.

Corporation spokesperson Percy Spoke said “Admittedly Fury’s words weren’t at all in keeping with the genteel, politically correct, and intellectual repartee normally associated with men who beat one another into submission with their fists for a living.

“But who cares? He’s not got a chance of becoming SPOTY. Not against John Major!”

The 72-year old former tory prime minister has been nominated after winning Wimbledon and two Formula 1 events, all in the same year.

Other leading candidates include:

  • Nigel Lawson, who won the 2015 Tour de France
  • Douglas Hurd, who (through a strange quirk of his parentage) captained the New Zealand All Black team to Rugby World Cup victory.
  • Michael Heseltine, whose 12th volume of memoirs has given him such a muscular wrist that he has become unbeatable in the world of arm-wrestling.
  • Virginia Bottomley, who finally broke Ronda Rousey’s string of UFC women’s bantamweight victories.
  • The Octonaut Kwazii, who performed Samuel Beckett’s monologue ‘Not I’ in less than 8 minutes.
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