Turkish downing of Russian jet leads to pause for reflection

by philapilus

He’ll probably just tell Turkey that it’s no big deal, accidents happen, and not to worry about it

The shooting down of a Russian warplane by Turkish jets has inadvertently brought about an international detente, after major powers agreed that things were clearly out of hand.

President Putin said “This has given me pause to reflect and to think about all kinds of things in a calm and measured way.

“For instance, I am now wondering whether we should be less belligerent in our testing of other nation’s borders, and also considering re-targeting our Syrian airstrikes along the lines that America was hoping we would.

“But mostly this has just made me think that it’s time for a bit of commonsense. I really don’t want to fly off the handle on this one.”

Turkish officials issued a statement offering Russia their deepest apologies, adding “We have realised after this awful incident that, when you get right down to it, we shouldn’t really be firing missiles at anyone. We should all do what Jeremy Corbyn says and just chill the eff out.

“Maybe we could use our warplanes to dust crops. With organic, chemical-free concoctions, that don’t even harm the pests but just encourage them to relocate elsewhere.”

NATO met this afternoon and agreed unanimously “to be much more careful about weapons in future, and to do a lot more to improve our friendship with Russia, including immediately ceding the Ukraine to Putin” – a move backed by President Poroshenko.

President Obama said “It’s lucky really. The downing of a jet by supposed allies during a tense operation in which many major powers have their entire armies camped within half a mile of each other, is exactly the sort of thing that could have led to World War III.

“But fortunately, everyone is just being really calm and relaxed about it.”

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