Fappers of the fortnight: Philip Davies MP MP and Alistair Burt MP MP MP

by philapilus

What an odious little shit

Proposed by:

Winnie the Pooh

Proposed for:

Pooh says: “Whether it is filibustering proposals to curb exploitative landlords, blocking a bill to reduce hospital parking charges for carers, or generally cackling maniacally, Philip Davies MP can be relied upon to talk out of his arse for as long as it takes to get the job done.  Or rather, to avoid jobs getting done.

“But hot on his heels this week is Alistair Burt, tory health minister and serial masturbator, who has done his best to ‘out-evil’ Davies in the competition to win Pantomine Villain of the Year.

“Twirling his moustache while frantic piano music played, Burt spoke for half an hour to prevent the Off-Patent Drugs Bill, which would have brought cheap, tried and tested medication to the NHS, thus he has ensured that the Tories retain the title of the Nasty Party.

“He also gets to swim in a bathtub of the thick saliva George Osborne secretes when he is thinking about strangling the poor.

“Being a Bear of Very Little Brain, I asked Owl if there was any significant reason for stiffing carers out of much-needed pennies, or making sure the NHS can’t afford medicine. But all he said was “Pooh, they are fuckwits one and all.”

“So my nominations for this fortnight’s self-fornicators are these two disgraceful human beings. Let’s hope they get hit by a car, or at the very least, stung by bees until they go into anaphylactic shock and die horribly.

“That nearly happened to me once. Bees are completely mental.”

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