Hard Rock Cafe not very ‘rock’ at all

by philapilus
File:Black Converse sneakers.JPG

Worn by none other than the girl who cleaned the toilets after not one, but TWO Radiohead gigs

A couple who visited a Hard Rock Cafe yesterday have said they are “extremely surprised at how unrock the place was”.

Tim Twanks from Swindon said “I was kind of expecting it to be like a rock concert, only in a cafe.

“It wasn’t.

“Then I thought ‘well maybe it’s just going to be like the backstage area, with booze and drugs and hot chicks going wild.

“It wasn’t.”

Samantha Furcup, Twanks’ fiancee said “I think Tim had unrealistic expectations which were fuelled by the franchise’s cynically mendacious use of the phrase ‘hard rock’.

“I on the other hand expected a drab restaurant serving mediocre food – which it was – but imagined the place filled with rare and fascinating rock and/or roll memorabilia.

“It wasn’t.”

Furcup and Twanks made a complaint about the pathetic range of tat on display, citing exhibits including a photo of a discarded sweatband used by Phil Collins in 1989, a seat-cover from a bus that drives past Sting’s New York residence, and a guitar that looked a bit like one owned by someone who opened for Jimi Hendrix.

But manager Wendy Nailinthehead said “The Hard Rock cafe prides itself on the quality of its iconic artefacts. Where else could you see a jacket that David Bowie himself might have seen in a shop window?

“Look, OK, I know the stuff’s not great. But when I joined they said ‘Wendy the objects are third rate, but at least the food is quite nice.

“It isn’t though.”

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