GP receptionists “not actually in charge”

by philapilus

This could never, ever happen in real life

A new study commissioned by the NHS has returned the shocking finding that doctors’ receptionists are just phone-droids who do not actually run the whole show, despite what they believe.

The study casts doubt on the legitimacy of the officious men and women who have to be cajoled and pleaded with for quarter of an hour before they will huffily get you an appointment at the most inconvenient time possible.

Professor Hamish McEyebrau, author of the report, said “Anyone approaching the front desk in a surgery could be forgiven for thinking that the sulky bitch or bastard opposite is in charge – quite possibly of the world. That is certainly what receptionists themselves think.

“But what these useless jobsworths seem to have failed to grasp is that they are basically the lacky-operators of a tiny fucking call centre. Utter. Twats.”

But Wendy Nailinthehead, receptionist for a local GP surgery said “This is all wrong. I am just as – if not more – significant than the doctors.

“If I didn’t answer the phone – which admittedly I won’t do until the queueing system has cut you off at least twice , as is my prerogative – you wouldn’t get an appointment, and Dr Foster would just be sitting in her office twiddling her thumbs.

“So really, if you think about it, my job is the most important. Probably the most important job in the whole NHS.”

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