Osborne praised for participating in Saudi Arabia execution

by philapilus

What an odious little shit

George Osborne has been praised by the Saudi Arabian government for “rolling up his shirtsleeves and joining in” with a public beheading.

An official Saudi statement said “After his refusal to criticise so-called ‘human rights offences’ in China, Mr Osborne was the obvious choice for a conflict-less visit, so we got him over.

“He was delightful, and as servile as our women are meant to be; licked our feet clean, massaged a pig, crawled around on all fours while we threw money at him – he was hilarious.

“We thought asking him to take part in a beheading might make him finally stand on his Western principles, but it turns out he hasn’t got any. With a glint in his little beady eyes he agreed before we’d even finished asking the question.”

The chancellor was given first swing with the official sword, and witnesses said that if only he had had a backbone or any muscle in his weedy little arms he would have stood a good chance of severing the head.

As it was he passed the sword back to the official executioner and wanked off the Saudi king whilst they watched the successful decapitation.

“It’s not about complaining or kicking up a fuss about harmless local practises,” said Mr Osborne “it’s about desperately trying to drum up business overseas to compensate for the short-sighted shafting we gave the British economy.”

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