Corbyn-Cameron PMQs “to last all week”

by philapilus

Obi Wan Corbyn is about to pop that lightsaber

The first PMQs between David Cameron and Jeremy Corbyn has substantially overrun, and according to sources “could last all week if not longer”, because of the huge sheaf of questions Corbyn is holding.

The session began well, with the two men making a pact that Prime Ministers Questions “should no longer be a screaming ‘Yo Mama’ match between middle-aged white men”. But interest in the chamber waned as the Labour leader began trawling through a list of 40,000 crowd-sourced questions.

MPs’ expressions changed from anticipation to boredom, then to frustration, back to boredom, and then murderous anger, after the first hundred or so questions had been monotonously read and answered.

Questions that have been asked so far have included ‘Is the reduction of sparrows in Plumstead attributable to the increase in immigration from Syria?’, ‘Could the Prime Minister tell us what his ideal weekend would be, and with whom he would spend it?’, and Ed from Islington asked through Corbyn ‘What advice would the Prime Minister give to those who have recently lost their jobs?’

Despite its longevity the PMQs session has remained civil, the only confrontation coming when the PM got a bit pissy, and Corbyn retorted “Strike me down, Dave, and I shall become more powerful than you could possibly imagine”.*

Nevertheless polls show the new era of revolutionary politics has already bored 98% of the public, leading the woefully thick and tubby electorate to turn back to their Jeremy Kyle.

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*we cannot be bothered to write a whole article about how much like Alec Guinness’s Obi Wan Kenobi Jeremy Corbyn really looks

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