Jeremy Corbyn’s shadow cabinet announced

by philapilus

Following a resounding victory in the battle for the Labour leadership at the weekend, Jeremy Corbyn has today announced the Appointments for his first shadow cabinet.

Shadow chancellor: Randy Rhoads.

Randy’s consummate skill is best exemplified by his solo on Ozzy Osboune’s ‘Mr Crowley’, but Rhoads’ phenomenal influence can be heard amongst many guitarists of the succeeding generation.

Shadow home secretary: Zakk Wylde.

Another ex-Ozzy talent, Zakk’s speed is really only matched by the range of his technical wizardry – and all without a whammy bar!

Shadow foreign secretary: Tony Iommi.

Yet another of Ozzy’s former colleagues, Iommi was the force behind the eztraordinary riffs of Black Sabbath. Classics include Iron Man, Paranoid, and the 13 minute solo on Pinky and Perky’s classic ‘Who’s Afraid of the  Big Bad Wolf’

Shadow defence secretary:  Paul Gilbert.

Gilbert’s work with Racer X and Mr Big may be less well known amongst non metal-afficionados, but the Flanger-obsessed guitarist is an extraordinary talent. Shame about his ears.

Shadow justice secretary: Dimebag Darrell.

Darrell epitomises ‘groove’ metal, and his outstanding catchy tunes reinvigorated the metal genre. Pantera’s Cowboys from Hell may be one of the most instantly recognisable riffs in heavy metal history.

Shadow health secretary: Slash

Less heavy metal and more hard rock than other members of the shadow cabinet, Slash has been selected for his fine, bluesy solos, and his dedication to clean healthy living. His work on November Rain was phenomenal.

Shadow first secretary of state: Rick Astley

A little-known fact, squeaky-clean former popstar Rick Astley’s altar ego is that of speed-shredding guitar demon, Buckethead. Wearing a KFC bucket on his head, and a spooky white mask for disguise, Astley has delighted unwitting metal fans for years.

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