Labour to “weed out” anyone voting for Corbyn, says Harman

by philapilus

“The world will end” claims Harman

Harriet Harman has promised that the upcoming Labour leadership ballot will be “scrupulously fair and impartial” to which end “party activists are working round the clock to exclude anyone thinking of voting for one candidate in particular – I don’t think I have to name him, but it’s not Andy.”

The acting Labour leader warned that “thousands of cheats are attempting to infiltrate the party, purely to exploit the voting system in order to democratically vote for a candidate who some of us don’t want them to vote for.”

Many senior Labour officials are very keen to avoid a situation whereby the ballot would allow supporters to elect someone they want, rather than one of the conservative-lite twatfaces on offer.

But it isn’t just supporters who want Corbyn to win, as opponents of the party see him as a brilliant way to makeLabour implode.

Responding to suggestions that the vote was subject to infiltration by tories and greens looking to vote for Corbyn, Harman looked panicky and said “Really? Oh Jesus, I thought all we had to worry about was the Trots.

“Holy fuck. he’s actually going to win isn’t he?”

Rotund toilet-punisher and verbal anarchist/village idiot John Prescott said “Voting for Jeremy makes absolutely, well it’s obvious anyone can, clearly it’s a mistake and the Labour which I love, that i,s the people who will be voting for people, might not vote for people who will, look if you get a ham and you cut it in half, but then one half is cut into thirds and, well, anyone voting for Corbyn clearly doesn’t know what they’re, what I’m, what we’re talking about is…is… so, you know, vote for Jeremy. I mean, not Jeremy. One of the others.”

Labour member Samantha Furcup said “Yes I am going to vote for Jeremy. He may well be a disaster and unelectable, but frankly you could say that about any of them.

“Mostly I am just doing it to stick a giant middle finger up at Tony Blair’s legacy.”

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