Bin Laden’s tape collection “includes the Bangles and Steeleye Span”

by philapilus

“All around my hat I will wear the green ribbon…”

Experts analysing the vast tape collection of Osama Bin Laden have revealed that the Al Qaeda leader “was a huge fan of bands like the Bangles, the Mamas and the Papas, and British folk rock outfit, Steeleye Span.”

Professor Hamish McEyebrau of the Slough School of Sound Studies went through more than 1500 casettes, and found that Bin Laden’s musical tastes tended to focus on anything recorded before Nirvana’s ‘Nevermind’, which was the most recent album that he owned.

“‘Nevermind’ was almost worn out,” said McEyebrau “So he’d obviously listened to it a lot. We think he probably had a lot of angst. He seems to have stopped buying music after the release of Nirvana’s seminal album though, which may be because his views on the products of the imperialist West hardened, but could also be because the Afghan branch of Our Price he used to frequent closed in late 1991.”

McEyebrau said that his team were surprised by how catholic the tape collection was, and by some unusual choices such as Cliff Richard’s album ‘Silver’, and Christian rock group Petra’s ‘Beyond Belief’.

The biggest surprise however was Bin Laden’s devotion to British Folk Rock music.

“He had everything,” said McEyebrau, “Fairport Convention’s ‘Liege and Lief’, Lindisfarne’s ‘Fog on the Tyne’, but his clear favourite was Steeleye Span’s “‘All Around My Hat.’

“He had 13 copies of it, and 5 of them were completely knackered. It’s almost touching thinking of him with his trouserlegs rolled up, Morris dancing to Maddy Prior’s soaring vocals.

“But then he was a murdering Islamist piece of shit and a cunt to boot, which sort of spoils it.”


%d bloggers like this: