“Some of my best friends menstruate” says Trump

by philapilus

“Turtle-faced little piece of shit”

Donald Trump has lashed out at critics after his attack on a Fox journalist, and insisted he did not imply she was menstruating, but added “Even if I had said she was menstruating like a stuck pig, I would only have meant it in a really positive way.”

The tycoon, who had said publicly that Megyn Kelly was “bleeding out of her wherever” continued “I mean, obviously menstruation is gross, unnatural, dirty – and frankly just done to grab attention, but apart from that, I think it’s great.

“Some of my best friends are women. Or at least they would be, but it just so happens that they aren’t. All of my friends are paragons of self-control and cleanliness, not blood-dripping, shouty maniacs like Megyn Kelly. Who I wholeheartedly support.

“Vote for me everyone; a vote for Trump is a vote for feminism.”

The Republican party issued a statement saying that Trump’s campaign to become the GOP presidential candidate had not been damaged by his comments because he actually represented the enlightened wing of the party.

A spokesperson said “If anything he was actually quite soft on Megyn. Ronald Reagan used to have women whipped daily during their monthly period, and George Bush Snr set up a tampon dispenser in the White House toilets that electrocuted anyone trying to use it.

“Donald’s comments are a breath of fresh air.”

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