“F***witted morons are my biggest frustration” says Obama

by philapilus

“Seriously, what the fuck am I meant to do with them?”

Barack Obama has said that his biggest frustration as President has been “the fact that so many Americans are fucking morons when it comes to deadly weapons.”

The US president, speaking on the eve of a trip to Africa¬†added that he felt “the impossibility of getting many of these tubby fuckwits to realise that actual guns with actual bullets are responsible for thousands of deaths a year is inordinately depressing.

“They appear to think that guns are actually sort of like a limb, or major organ, without which they couldn’t survive. I have tried to persuade them otherwise, but sometimes it’s tricky to find enough words that they actually understand.”

Having been frustrated in his attempts to introduce a small measure of gun control, Obama said he is going to make one final push; a billboard campaign showing a gun next to a coffin bearing the slogan ‘Gun go bang, make death. Death not good. You no bang gun, no death.’

But Vice President of the NRA Billy-Bob Randyfukowicz said “We’m done seen that there picher, an’ the gun ain’t een got no bullet. What’s that there box fer anyways? I didden unnerstan’ them curly shapes, I ain’t good with the readin’. I done come in mah shorts lookin’ at the purty gun tho.”

Obama said “I’m not saying they’re all stupid. But enough of them that they are killing each other in their thousands. What’s worse is that then more of them come along and make the same mistake.

“I am thinking of rounding everyone up, forcing them into Texas, locking the door, and starting the whole evolution business again from amoebas.

“Actually most of them are in Texas anyway, so it makes it all quite easy.”

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