Gove overturns draconian legislation of previous government (whoever they were)

by philapilus

Don’t take the piss though

Michael Gove has cemented his reputation as a trailblazing social reformer, after reversing legislation restricting the number of books prisoners are allowed – a measure presumably put in place by an as yet unknown scheming malefactor.

The Justice Secretary said “This draconian law is precisely the sort of thing that the Conservative party has always been completely against. I literally cannot imagine what kind of government could have thought this was a good idea.

“Best if we don’t look into it though I reckon. It’s not important who introduced it or when. All that matters is that they were definitely in the wrong, and not gifted with the clear moral compass that this government has. I am sure it happened a long time ago. No, I don’t want to know when. No, stop looking it up, that’s an order.”

Gove’s decision comes as the Tories unveil a campaign to rebrand themselves, shifting from the Nasty Party to the Nicety Party, a decision that has been universally hailed as “No more fuckwitted or doomed to failure than any of their other plans.”

Conservatives have praised themselves unreservedly for lifting the book restrictions, but not everyone has been so impressed.

Prisoner Tim Twanks said “I remember when the stupid ban came in, it was in 2013. I also remember who was in power then. Would you like me to tell you?”

But Mr Gove’s office warned Twanks that if he didn’t pipe down they’d take his books away.

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