‘Grexit’ renamed ‘Greverlasting wrangle’

by philapilus

He might be a bit stubborn, but to be fair he was elected as the leader of Greece; you know, to lead Greece…

As talks over the Greek financial crisis enter their 17th year, the feared departure of Greece from the Euro has been renamed, to reflect the fact that most people now expect the debate to go on interminably.

The chief cause of the neverending dispute appears to lie in the worsening relationship between Greece and her German-led creditors.

Hans Onmycok, Advisor on Financial Wrangles to Angela Merkel, said “Greece needs to know that it is absolutely not OK to have a government that acts according to the democratic will of its people alone. It should be obvious to anyone with any sense that Greece’s future is far too important to be left to Greeks.

“All they do is eat olives and stuffed vine leaves, and sometimes play the bouzouki. Whereas we Germans know exactly how to go about rebuilding our own country without any help from anyone. Just like we did after World War 2. Did we get a massive financial hand-out to bail us out of trouble? I don’t think so!

“What? The Marshall Plan? No, never heard of it. Something to do with amplifiers?”

The Greek Prime Minister Alexis Tsipras said “I am thinking of turning Greece into a bank. Apparently if you’re a bank they don’t ask you for anything back after they bail you out. I am thinking of calling it Scylla and Charybdis, because that’s where you fuckers have got us.”

Meanwhile in the UK, Chancellor George Osborne used Greece’s debt crisis in his budget speech to remind everyone how necessary stringent Tory cuts are, saying “Greece Greece Grexit Greece feral cannibals eating each other Greece Greece Grexit long term economic plan look the other way while I bend you over.”

Not elected as the leader of Greece

 

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