UK sends bit of fence to France

by philapilus

“Fortunately fences are impossible to break, or indeed to scale” said Brokenshire

The UK government has announced it will send the National Barrier Asset to Calais, to help desperate authorities there cope with the scale of migrants trying to enter Britain illegally.

The National Barrier Asset was developed in the aftermath of terrorist attacks and has been described with glowing reverence by the Ministry of Defence as ‘a really quite long bit of fence’.

Immigration minister, James Brokenshire, said “A shorter bit of the long bit of fence will be sent to France and deployed at their end of the Eurotunnel, to show just how seriously Britain is taking its commitment to help the French control the thousands of people overwhelming their security forces.

“We do not want illegal immigrants here, and the French don’t want them massing over there whilst trying to get here. We stand shoulder to shoulder with the authorities in Calais. Well, fence to shoulder, anyway.”

French Minister for Having to Deal with the UK, Jacques Fromage, said “They’re sending us a bit of fence. Apparently it can stop a truck. Thing is, the migrants don’t have trucks, that’s sort of why they are trying to force their way on to lorries.

“But at the moment they’re on foot, and one of the things feet are quite good at – when combined with hands – is climbing. Especially over fences.

“You fucking morons.”

 

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