People still inexplicably listening to David Starkey

by philapilus

“Bweaaarrkkk!!! Kweaauurrkkkk CLUK CLUK! BUK-BUK QWEAAARRKK!”

There has been public shock today, after it transpired that some terminally unwise people actually listened while David Starkey spouted some more of his bullshit.

The cantankerous TV ‘history buff’ opened his mouth and allowed a huge river of shit to pour out – ostensibly to liken the SNP to the Nazis, although he was probably just trying to see how much shit he could spew before the room was full and everyone had to leave.

But new SNP MP Jock McStrap said “Wuir nae gon’ tae stan’ fer it! Wuir nae a violent nassty peeple! Wuir peesful as yon next man! Starkey bin takin’ shite an’ weez gon’ tae heidbutt ‘im an gie ‘im a Glasgie smile an’ leev him burrnin’ in yon ditch.”

Starkey’s offensive comments are only the latest in a long line of batshit mad pronouncements he has made. His entry in Who’s Who lists him as “a recognised expert at spouting bullshit, with particular specialisms in talking shit about black people, talking shit about multiculturalism, and basically talking shit about anything that has happened since the Tudor period.”

The entry adds “He is also an arsehole.”

Many rational people have criticised the SNP for taking offence. They point out that listening to anything Starkey says is a pointless endeavour, not unlike trying to make sense of the sqawkings of a chicken possessed of lower than average intelligence.

But not everyone disagrees with the contrarian presenter. Simpleton Wendy Nailinthehead said “I don’t understand the problem. I’m not saying the SNP are all Nazis, but look at the facts. David Starkey knows lots about the Past. The Nazis happened in the Past.

“I have no fucking idea what the SNP are saying, because that weird patois of theirs makes you think of a drunk sprawled on the forecourt of a failing petrol station and dribbling meths. Coincidence? I think not.”

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