Archive for May 21st, 2015

May 21, 2015

Your mum and dad now superstars of fashion industry

by philapilus

She’s got it going on

It has emerged this morning that, much to your shame, your parents are now considered to be the epitome of cool.

After that suede skirt of your mum’s (which she bought in M&S in 1973) took the fashion world by storm, it was decided that from now on all new designs would be run past her sharp, commercial eye.

Simultaneously, the news that your father’s Dad Bod is now the very definition of sexy has had hordes of fashionistas following him round, recording his ill-advised diet, lack of exercise regime and dress-sense, for the purposes of

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May 21, 2015

ISIS to assume curatorial duties in Palmyra

by philapilus

Deeply fond of culture

Islamic State militants announced today that they would be taking over the curating and preservation of the UNESCO World Heritage Site of Palmyra, the ruins of which are amongst the most important in the ancient world.

The IS spokesman for antiquities, Abdul ‘the beheader’ Aziz, said “People think that all we do is go around barbarically destroying anything that doesn’t fit a very specific and medieval version of Islam. But that’s not true.

“For instance, as an archaeologist, I am fascinated by the Temple of Bel, even if it is a place of heathen worship, and… oh hang on, sorry, I think that explosion was probably the temple. Well, to be fair, we probably had to do that one.

“But just look at all the

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