As David Cameron continues to form his new cabinet, we bring you the lowdown on the ministers already appointed:
Prime Minister: Boris Johnson
In a surprise move, David Cameron has decided to make Johnson the head of his new government, though the role will only apply during the night-time when no one is looking. Boris will also take over David’s marital obligations to Samantha
Home Secretary: Michael Gove/Theresa May
The new government’s first cabinet meeting will feature a bloody death-match between these two ministers, who have each demanded the opportunity to stick and disembowel the other like a squealing pig. The victor will