My electoral victory! by George Galloway

by philapilus

Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for ME


Once again the British people have shown their good judgement in supporting myself and the Respect party, giving us yet another decisive election victory!

By selflessly releasing me from my role as their MP, the people of Bradford have shown that they want me to go forth, holding aloft the banner of Respect, to move on to even greater things – and if that isn’t ‘winning’ I don’t know what is!

Yes friends, unable to bear their guilt at having kept me all to themselves, they have pleaded with me – wordlessly pleaded, but pleaded nonetheless – to undertake a great crusade.

“No George” they said to me with their ballot papers, “you have already made Bradford a land of milk and honey! We cannot monopolise you! We insist you go and share your genius with the rest of the country!”

And so they voted in a Labour candidate, who they will now train over the next five years, in the hope that they can mold him into a worthy Respect member. To convert him from laborious Labourite into a Gallowayian giant.

I salute you Bradford! How better to support and applaud me, than to vote in a new MP who, on encountering the Utopia I have built for you, will cry out my name, and convert immediately! A small mirror, to catch a splinter of the great light I give off!

And so this morning I shall wander the land, righting wrongs, driving out demons, healing the sick, and spreading the word of myself.

Then, after lunch, I shall go to London. I shall ride down the Westway on a donkey, a great stream of traffic following slowly, tooting its support. And I shall go to Buckingham Palace, and accept the crown that I suspect even now is being polished for me.




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