“It would be different if we got a free pen out of it” say non-voters

by philapilus

“Now THAT would be worth all those Suffer-jets riding horses for”

Britain’s legions of non-voters said today that the main reason they couldn’t be arsed to go to the polling station was because of the shit pencil stubs that you can’t even take away with you.

Non-box crosser Wendy Nailinthehead said “Why would I go all the way up the road to the local church hall and try to make an ‘X’, when I can’t even nick the pen afterwards?

“Even if they just had those little pens you get in betting shops. That’s why I gamble you see; for the free pen. You don’t think I’d be fucking stupid enough to throw my money away for nothing, do you?”

Professor Hamish McEyebrau, of the Slough School of Election Studies, said “Using a small piece of pencil that is tied to a shitty pinboard divider is demeaning to these people.

“They would definitely care about the future of the country if they could just make off with something, or get a token gift. You know, to make them feel it was worth waddling down there.”

In related news a meeting of the anti-voting lobby, ‘1 little vote doesn’t matter’, accidentally sank the Isle of Wight when they gathered there this morning.

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