Scandinavian gunmen open fire at US ‘Draw Thor’ competition

by philapilus

We can’t show Thor wielding it, for fear of reprisals

Norse mythology extremists have been killed by police, after opening fire at contestants attending a ‘Draw Thor’ competition in Dallas yesterday.

The masked gunmen were shot dead by a traffic policeman, in an exchange of fire following a savage attack, which mercifully left no one harmed other than the perpetrators.

The event’s organiser, controversial anti-Thorian and free speech advocate, Frank Castle, said “This kind of religious extremism is absolutely intolerable in this day and age.

“We need to stop accepting the double standards of a world where graphic novelists are threatened with murder just for drawing the likeness of a Nordic god, whilst we have to protect the civil rights of extremist Scandinavians living amongst us.”

Competitor Nick Fury, whose drawing of Thor featured the revered figured wielding his hammer, Mighty Mjolnir, against frost giants, said “I took part in this event because I really like comic books.

“I’m not particularly interested in making fun of anyone’s religion, but…well, it was just a drawing. This could be seen as a slight overreaction.”

The terrorists, one Danish and one Swedish, have not yet been named, but police and the FBI say they are closing in on a Nordic extremist cell based in Arkansas.

Competition winner, Matt Murdoch, said “Apparently my life is now in danger because I drew a picture of some deranged fuckers’ imaginary best friend. It would be quite nice if these vile little bunch of morons could just fuck right off and stop shoving their Dark Ages bullshit down our throats.”

But outspoken Thorian, Anjem Choudary, said “You call us extremists ‘cunts’. Well, we aren’t cunts. We’re just not going to stop till we kill you. There’s a massive difference.”

Murdoch added “If only the Asgard-worshippers could chill the eff out, and be more like the Jihadists.”

 

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